Getting Motivated Again

After the past couple weeks of sickness, both the munchkin's and mine, I'm staring down the barrel of a 5k I signed up for. I haven't run in two weeks. I know the 5k will be fine, I will most definitely not PR, but I will finish it.

The race will also be the munchkin's first. I signed her up for the 1/2 mile kids race! I'm super excited to get her running, since she is already (at 2 1/2) enamored with running in her own toddler way. She plays "ready set go" with her Daddy, Standing at one end of the driveway and running to him at the other end, and will run in circles around our house telling me she gonna run "two miles!" She also, as I've said here before, is fascinated with watching me run, and also with the very fact that I run. She'll point to my sneakers when I'm lacing up and say "You go running mommy?" I'm hoping to keep that love alive in her as she gets past the energizer bunny stage.

Which is why it's so very important to me that I find that love again myself, and I think I'm starting to. The newest issue of Runners World showed up this weekend, and while idly flipping through the pages I felt that pang. That longing to be running that I haven't felt in a long time.

So this is it. My declaration that I will not give up. That I'm going to get myself moving again, and keep myself moving.

This will be my mantra:

The struggle

I've been having some serious issues with my motivation lately. I've still been able to get it together and force myself to run, but the love? The love is missing.

I still feel great during and after a run, but that totally obsessed, reading everything about running I can get my hands on, dreaming of new gear and new races, LOVE isn't there.

It's resulted in me kinda dropping the ball with the whole blog thing. I still have a turkey trot to recap (and boy was it a doozy of a run.) I've fallen way behind on reading my favorite blogs (which I feel awful about because I honestly enjoy reading them!)

I just...can't get the motivation up to do more than the minimum right now. Which is awful. I had hoped the Turkey Trot would kick me back into gear, and it did, running wise I guess. I've upped my milage during my runs. But I'm having a serious "meh" about the whole thing. It's just this thing I do. And if that Turkey Trot wasn't enough to bring back the love, I'm worried that nothing will. Seriously it was an amazing run.

I'm hoping I'm just tired, the munchkin has been sick just about every other week for the past month and a half. (I say just about because she got sick three weeks in a row in there) Right now it's Croup, which any parent of a kid who's had Croup can tell you, makes for very long nights.

I'll get to that turkey trot write up as soon as I can. Hopefully that'll bring back the love.

One more step back towards where I need to be.

I did get my run in thursday, a nice solid three mile run. I just set the treadmill and cruised, which is odd considering how....not level my pace chart turned out. Yes, my treadmill is awful, but it still works(ish) and it's better than running after dark outside around where I live.

So. Yeah Thursday run. It was fine I guess. Really just another run, which is awesome, because it means I'm getting back to where I was. Just doing three miles easy.

The next chance I got to run was Saturday, and I did another easy three miles. Right around two miles I started feeling....sluggish I guess is the best word. Just, kinda not into it. Not like I was working super hard, just....like my legs were definitely not fresh.

It occurred to me later that I'm actually dramatically upping my weekly milage right now. Going from not running, to one run, to two runs, and now getting three, three mile runs in in one week. I'm not surprised my legs felt off.

Other than the sluggish feeling in my legs for the last mile, the run was ok. Not great, but not terrible.

I've got two days off before the next run, so hopefully that'll be enough time for my legs to rest up and adjust. I'm going to try to add in one more run next week (run sat/sun.) And then, as long as that goes well, I'm going to go back to following a slow build up plan, and hopefully get myself back in half marathon shape to run the same half I ran this year, The Flower City Half. The race isn't until the end of April, so I should be ok stretching the plan out a bit, and working on increasing my speed after I build my distance back up.

More immediately, I've decided to throw caution to the wind and register for a local Turkey Trot. It's a 4.4 mile, relatively flat course. I plan on running it very conservatively, but I think it'll do my confidence good to get out there for a run on Thanksgiving.

It will also be a good test of how my body is dealing with the pace I'm putting miles back on. So far, I haven't had any bad issues, beyond the sluggish legs on saturday. I did get a wicked migraine on Sunday, but that had more to do with playing with the munchkin around than the runs. I really need to start working some strength training into my program if I intend to keep swinging my 35 lb. toddler around.

Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, but it feels good to have a plan, and a few races to shoot for.

Keeping it going.

Last week was kind of a bust run wise. A friend needed to do some emergency car shopping so we ended up watching her little girl (who is exactly five days older than the munchkin) on both of the days that I had runs planned. So, no runs, but plenty of toddler play time. Which I believe should count as a workout. For serious.

So far this week, I've gotten one run in, on Monday. I did an easy three miles on the treadmill, just kinda chugging along. The Hubs agreed that twice a week he will pick the munchkin up from daycare so I can go straight home and get my runs in. Tonight will be the second of those nights this week. I'm hoping to add in some outdoor runs on the weekend and get myself back into a regular workout groove again.

The run on Monday was good. It felt natural and comfortable. I didn't play with my pace too much, I just kinda cruised.

So far the new Mizuno's are working out well. They really do feel similar to my Brooks. Score one for Runners' World and their shoe reviews!

Don't Call it a Comeback

The day after my letter to myself, my kind of declaration that I would push myself to find the time to run, my toddler got sick. Really sick. The kind of sick where the doctor has you come straight in and the words "we are going to do everything we can to keep her out of the hospital" are used.

The next week was a blur of doctors appointments, nebulizer treatments, missed days at work, and very little sleep.

Luckily, the Munchkin pulled through like a champ, and no hospitalization was necessary.

But a whole week disappeared. The only exercise I got that whole week beyond the normal exercise of schlepping a toddler to and fro was a two mile walk along the canal to get us both out of the house on Friday.

While walking along with the Munchkin tucked in the stroller, and admiring the amazing leaves on the trees, I got the urge to run. I really wanted to just book along the path with those super colorful leaves whirring past all around me. So I did a couple of short sprints (in jeans mind you.)

It was upsetting how quickly I got winded sprinting along, but I reminded myself that a)I was sprinting at top speed, and b)I was pushing a 35 lb. toddler in a stroller.

But those short sprints made up my mind. I was determined to find time to get myself back to running. Just as soon as I got my kid back to healthy.

So since she was healthy and back at Day Care on Tuesday, I decided that was it. I had to run. My (very understanding) Hubby agreed to pick the Munchkin up so I would have time to run before he got home and we had to head to his parents for Family dinner night. I get out at 4:30, he gets out at 5:00, we both work the same distance from home, so I'd have between 30 & 45 minutes before he got home, depending on how long it took him to get the Munchkin ready to leave Day Care.

It worked beautifully. I got home, changed and jumped on the treadmill. I queued up an episode of Fringe (which yes, I have been saving for the treadmill.) I set an easy pace, and decided I'd go for a time goal and not a distance goal. Half an hour to start.

New Shoes!

I am breaking in a brand new pair of Mizuno Wave Rider 17's, which I got on a super awesome sale online. When I first got on the treadmill, they felt a little bigger than my Brooks Ravenna's, but I think that's mostly because I haven't been wearing my running shoes a lot lately (I wear a size bigger in my running shoes than my normal every day shoes.) As soon as I settled into the run, I mostly forgot I was wearing new shoes. Which I guess is a good thing!

The run itself felt awesome. I averaged around a 12' pace. I didn't feel like I was pushing too hard, and, if I hadn't run out of time, I felt I could have run longer. My legs felt good, and so did my feet. There were none of the nagging aches and twinges I'd been having before my unexpected month long vacation from running. I did a couple of faster "intervals" towards the end of the run, just bumping the speed up a bit to stretch my legs out and get my lungs working.

After a half hour, The Hubby still wasn't home, so I had time to jump in the shower, ice my legs, and then take a full, hot, relaxing shower. It was awesome.

I'm resting the legs today, even though they feel good. I'm going to try to do some upper body strength work later tonight when I get home from work. Maybe some Yoga if I feel motivated.

It's not a comeback....yet.

A letter to my Running Self.

Dear Running Self,

I miss you. Seriously.

I know we're both busy, heaven knows, with work and a toddler, and a husband who all need some of our attention.

But without you, I'm not myself. I'm not running (ha ha!) on all cylinders. My temper is shorter, I find myself getting overly anxious about random things, and weirdly I have less energy.

I need you back in my life. I need to spend time with you to let out my frustration from the day, to help me work through the anxieties in my head, and to give me the stamina to keep going through my day.

So here's my promise to you, I will try to find you again. I will try to start waking up a half hour earlier so that I can at least try to start shoehorning in some runs around my schedule. I will make you a priority again.

I can't promise you that I'll be able to maintain a regular training schedule right now, Life it just too crazy, but I do promise that this will be more than a once a week attempt.

Sincerely,
Stressed and Tired Self.

Group run with MRTT

In an attempt to get my butt back into gear, last night I joined my local Moms Run This Town running group for an "easy three miles" followed by drinks and food stuffs. It sounded like a great way to motivate myself and ease back into a running schedule.

There was a moderately sized crowd that showed up for this, maybe eight women. First thing I realized, I need to get some sort of reflective vest thingie. Everyone else was wearing them. I had my blinky light on my shoe, and there's reflective bits on my hat and Jacket, but that was about it for me and visibility.

We started out at a comfortable pace and I fell in with a couple runners and chatted for a bit about random things. I was actually having a relatively good time. About half a mile in we started going uphill. This almost immediately started slowing me down. I started hanging back with one of the other runners, who almost immediately told me I didn't have to hang back for her. I laughed and told her I was just glad there was some one else in the group that ran closer to my pace.

I made it up that hill, and we chatted on the way down the other side. We settled into a nice comfortable pace for us, and let the rest of the group pull ahead a bit.

Right around two and a half miles, I started having a hard time. We had been keeping a really fast pace, for me, and that combined with my lack of running for the past month was really taking it's toll. Me and the girl I was running with (who I totally forgot to ask for her name) dropped further back from the group as we turned a corner and started heading uphill again.

I knew where we were and knew what was in front of us. A really long grueling hill. When our phones beeped to let us know we'd hit three miles, we were still no where near the restaurant which was our start and end point. We could still see the rest of the pack up the hill ahead of us (they actually kept stopping to wait for us, which while nice made me feel awful for holding them up with my slowness.)

Not too long after the three mile mark, me and the girl I was with called it, and started walking. We would do short bursts of running interspersed with walk breaks. That hill is a beast. An entire mile of up, capped with a quarter mile of steeper up.

We caught up to the group again at the top of the hill (where they had waited for us) and kept pace with them on the down hill back to the restaurant. Turns out we had ran a little over four miles.

I grabbed my wallet from my car and headed inside with the group and some women who had missed
the run but were joining us for drinks. At this point however, I was tired, and more than a little upset with myself for how hard the run had been.

It was also starting to get late, the run had started late (we had met up for the run at 6:30 but waited till about 6:45 for some stragglers), and we had run further and longer than intended, so it was about 7:45 when we were seated. At first I intended on having a drink and some loaded fries, but when I did the math on the time it would take to order, get my food, eat it, and drive home, I decided to duck out before orders were taken. So I finished my glass of water, said my goodbyes and headed home.

I had my dinner and drank another large glass of water with some Mio in it, and watched some TV on the couch. And then, as we were getting ready to head to bed, I had a headache attack. That's pretty much the best way to describe it. One minute I was fine, the next, raging migraine style headache. I have no idea what caused it, but it was a monster. Luckily it was bed time anyways, so a couple of advil, some melatonin, and a back rub later I slept it off.

As much as I'm happy to have gotten the run in, I still feel a little dispirited about how the run went. As nice as everyone at the run was, I still have a hard time socializing and running. I'm sure that'll come though, as I get faster and stronger and more able to keep up with the group.