Weight Tracker

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Trying to get used to this

It still doesn't quite feel real. Other than feeling a little bloated, super tired, super thirsty, and needing to pee every 5 minutes, I feel the same. It's hard to believe that there's a little life growing inside of me.

Now the worry starts though. Every time I pee I check for blood. I made my first appointment with the doctor and I'm paranoid that I'm going to loose the baby before the appointment. I'm worried about how we'll handle our overly energetic dog as this goes on. DH has already said if he doesn't calm down we can't keep him.

We aren't telling anyone until after the 12 week mark. We're both paranoid about a miscarriage. DH doesn't want me to buy any baby stuff yet, and he keeps worrying that I'm getting to attached to it this early, when so much can still go wrong.

We're also not sure what to do about Maternity leave and whether it will make sense for me to work after the baby is born. I guess we still have a long time to figure that out, but it's high on my worry list. Along with our current apartment not really being quite big enough for the two of us, our 85 lb puppy, our cat, and a baby. My BIL (who is also our landlord) has talked about finishing off the attic above our apartment to give us some more room, but i don't know how practical that would be.

This weekend we're going to visit DH's grandmother, my BIL and SIL are coming as are my Mother and Father. I'm wondering if we'll get through the weekend without someone slipping up and saying something.

Friday, October 7, 2011


The title says it all really! I couldn't wait, so I tested this morning. I still can't believe it.

I was so sure that it was going to be a BFN that I just kind of set the test down and started brushing my teeth. When I looked back at it, it was a BFP.

After a moment of shock, I ran in and pounced on my still mostly asleep DH. He just kinda stared at me grinning. He said he wasn't really awake enough to really process it. When he woke up a little more we just kinda hugged a lot and grinned. Told eachother a bunch of times we loved each other.

DH kinda looked at me at one point and said "Wow. This means I really need a new job."

I'm trying to stay calm and quiet right now. I'm super excited inside, but I know how many things can go wrong. I know it might not "stick", like what happened to my SIL.

I'm still trying to figure out a neat way to tell my SIL. When she got her BFP she handed me the stick in the car. I need to think of something , although I'm struggling not to just text her about it right now.

I'm still worried that it was somehow a false positive. So I'm still waiting for AF to show up and prove the test wrong. But I'm trying to convince myself that yes, this really is real. I really did get a BFP.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Almost done with the second TWW

I've been very good this time. I kept myself distracted and did not buy a pee stick. I'm trying really hard to wait and see if AF shows up or not before I test. I only have to hold out until Saturday, but oh man does that feel like a long time.

I'm trying to be good, I've started getting half caf instead of regular coffee, and I'm down to one 12 oz cup of that a day. I take my PNV every day, and I'm avoiding all the foods I'm supposed to avoid (although i really miss fresh motz.)

The Dojo is still the biggest hang up. I was able to go on Monday this week, because Monday Night Dinner with the Inlaws was changed to Tuesday Night Dinner with the Inlaws, although it got shuffled again (which is a whole 'nother post, and I'll get to go tomorrow night if I'm up to it, and again Saturday morning. I'll know before next Tuesday if I'm OK for sparring, or if a BFP has rendered me infinitely fragile. I'm thinking I'm going to get a BFN, but I'm trying to stay positive about it (heh, get it?)

The knitting slowed down a bunch, mostly because I just haven't had time to sit still with the needles. That and I got to a less mindless part of the pattern for the Baby jacket. I need to buy some finishing supplies at some point (ribbons and things) but I'm really hesitant to. It feels like Jinxing myself.