Weight Tracker

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Another post where I talk about being frustrated

My training plan has slipped again. I'm gonna blame the election for this one. Not only because of the stress (flair trigger,) but also because the day of, I walked all over the place with my daughter and my parents to get this picture:

Three Generations who can vote because of her.
Needless to say, I was unable to run for two days after wrangling a hyperactive four year old through a park, a beautiful (if huge) cemetery, and a half hour line. We were lucky, because of my mom's wheelchair we were able to skip the 2 hour line. We only had to wait half an hour to get our photo op. From what I hear that two hour line stayed at around two hours until they shut the gate at 9 pm, well after dark. 

Enough about the election. I promise no more politics!

I finally got back on the treadmill yesterday, and was able to squeeze in a 2 mile run. I was only able to do 2 miles because I ran out of time, but 2 miles is 2 miles. I'll take it. 

I'm just tired of not progressing in my training. It feels like I'm stuck right at the beginning. I know it's because I'm not prioritizing my training, but that's hard to do when I have to cram a run into an already packed day. The fibro works against me at every turn. No matter when I go to bed, I can barely drag myself out of bed in the morning in time to get the Hubs to work and the Munchkin to school. My muscles are always sore now, no mater how long I've rested them. On top of all of that, every work out wipes me out, not right away, but by dinner time I'm out of energy. Just totally falling asleep at the table, unable to focus, done. I feel guilty devoting my energy to training, and leaving none for my family. Typical Mom-guilt (although to be fair these days I guess I should just call it Parent-guilt.)

I'm trying to get over it. This week I'm determined to make the runs happen, even with a "work" commitment looming this weekend. 

I say "work" because it's for a group I'm a founder of, but I don't get paid for it. Although if I tapped out I know from a lengthy conversation with the other founder that she'd just call it and shutter the group. No pressure. 

Tonight I'm planning on a family workout trip to the Y, which we skipped last week due to extreme exhaustion on my part. I've got a crock pot dinner planned and ready so there will be no excuses. 

I've also decided to back off on the speed work drills built into the plan. They have speed work built into two runs a week. I'm going to back that off to just once a week for a few weeks, and see how I feel.

Lets get back to it.

Monday, November 7, 2016

Never give up, never surrender.

I gave myself a week off last week. Between pushing through Halloween, and a bunch of really bad Fibro days, the week was just a wash.

But I'm back at it this week. I've revamped my training schedule (again) and switched which days are my swim days (again) but I think I've got something that will work.

Now to just make sure I take it easy on my body as I ramp back up!

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

I can feel it in the air tonight....Winter is coming.

My first week of training was going great, until I ran head long into a flare. I kept trying to push through the flare to get shit done, which I think only made things worse. So bad in fact that by Monday I was bed bound for most of the day.


I'm moving forward to week two of the training plan anyways, although I did leave off the "strides" at the end of my run today. I wasn't just being lazy either, it was a rough run.

It was cold outside, not as cold as it's going to be, but cold enough that I layered up; tank, t-shirt and long sleeves on top, long running pants, and a buff to pull up over my mouth to keep from ending up with what I'm calling "runner's cough." It was not enough. Fer serious, I was wishing for another layer, like a windbreaker, and some ear warmers.

It was visually beautiful out, which helped ease some of the discomfort, until right around my turn around point (at about 1.5 miles, give or take...I like to leave some room to walk to cool down at the end,) when the wind picked up. I swear it was in my face both directions.

At one point the wind was blowing hard enough to slow me down to what most likely looked like someone attempting to recreate the 80's dance "The Running Man." I swear I was practically standing still, no matter how hard I pushed.

The wind did let up again after a half mile that felt like ten, and I was able to slug out the rest of my 3 miles. Barely. I really did not have anything left in the tank to put into those "strides" (which are really just 30 second sprints with rests in between.)

I'll add them onto a different run later in the week.

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

I didn't know I was broken till I wanted to change.

Apparently I'm no good at recognizing limitations. Or at least, it seems that being smacked down by this thing has made me do something crazy.

I signed up to run the Flying Pig Half Marathon in Cincinnati, OH.

Now, it's not until May next year, so I have plenty of time to get myself trained up to the distance. Also I'll have people to run with, as a few of the Ladies from a Facebook group I'm kind of a lurker on are going to be getting together for this (talk of this is kind of what lead to the crazy decision to sign myself up.)

I've finally got myself started on the training plan I'd mentioned before, although I decided to step back and start with the 10k training plan, then feed myself into the Half Marathon training plan, since I have the time, and I don't want to burn myself out by starting out with too high a milage.

I'm a whole two days in to the plan, and the first day (of the modified schedule I created) was the swim day, So I can't really tell how I'm handling the training yet. I'm still toying with the idea of what I'm going to do for my cross training day, it falls on a Thursday so I could theoretically use that day to go to Karate, but I'm worried about that being too much for my legs. I was thinking maybe biking would work, or another swim day. I don't know, I'll figure it out.

It's time to start.

Monday, October 17, 2016

Weekend Derailment, Monday back on track

Isn't that how it always goes? I was doing so well last week, and then *bam* Friday night I go out and derail myself.

We went out friday night to a work function for the Hubs, a work function at a bar (drink one - a can of beer), then headed over to this really cool Halloween themed fundraiser for a local art gallery (drink two - spiked mulled cider), then since we hadn't eaten yet we headed over to a cool resturaunt/bar nearby for food and a drink (drink three - strawberry spritzer, and food - crabcake and fried calamari). We rounded out the night at a friends place hanging out till two am watching bad cartoons (drink three and a half - about a half glass of bad desert wine.)

It didn't seem like a wild night until the next morning...or rather, two o'clock the next afternoon, which was when I managed to drag my butt out of bed. I was completely non-functional until then, and it didn't feel like your run of the mill hangover. I had a headache, yes, but mostly I was extremely fatigued and my muscles were totally locked up. I'm guessing the combination of drinking, too little/not so healthy food, and upending my sleeping schedule triggered a flare. Luckily I was able to walk the Munchkin down to the diner near us for milkshakes (a pre-promised Saturday outing) and afterwards I was, for the most part, ready to go.

Sunday we had a cool day at the Zoo for "Zoo Boo" planned, the kids get to go "trick or treating" in costume at the zoo. We were having a good time, and even though I could still feel a bit of fatuigue, my body was holding up. Then while we were sitting eating lunch at the "cafe" by the lions, disaster struck. The Hubs, who is non-life threateningly allergic to bees, got stung. In the Neck.

A few panicked minutes later (got ice, applied ice, searched the zoo futilely for Benadryl, left the Munchkin with my parents and drove to Rite Aid to purchase Benadryl) we were relatively sure we wern't going to have to head to the hospital. The Hubs and I hung out in the car while my parents finished doing the "Zoo Boo" route with the Munchkin, then it was back to my Parents so we could relax and have a backup caretaker in case things took a turn for the worse.

Luckily, it seems as long as he keeps taking Benadryl, the swelling is staying down, although that's leaving the poor guy sleepy and groggy most of the time.

Today however I got myself back on track, exercise wise (and hopefully eating wise - that kinda tanked over the weekend too.) I got the dog out for his morning walk again and hit the pool.

I managed to do 11 laps this time, and it felt less sucky. My plan is to add a lap each week. Hopefully that's not too much, but is enough to help me start to loose weight again.

The other component is the eating. I keep falling down on tracking what I'm eating. I'll to great for two or three days and then I'll run into something like Family Dinner (which we have Tuesdays with the in-laws and Fridays with my parents.) I'm awful at tracking then, or when I go out. I suck at that. Especially if I'm drinking.

It's going to be rough adapting to my "new normal" where a couple of drinks is too many (Honestly! I had three and a half over a six hour period. Sheesh.)  And I have to watch not only how many calories I eat, but what kind of foods I eat (Anti-Inflammatories are my friend.)

But I am once again determined. Enough of this wallowing BS.

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Thank goodness for the Y

Yesterday was a win. I took the dog for a walk in the morning and then orchestrated time at the gym for both me and the Hubs.

Now that we're Y members, we get to take advantage of the drop of childcare room. We get two hours a week. That's just about two gym sessions for my slow a$$. Since I swim during the day, while my daughter is at pre-school, that might just be enough.

The run was awful though. First I felt like I was running at a good clip, before I glanced at my speed: 15 min/miles. Yeah, not sure when I got so slow, but there it was. Around mile 2 my hip started cramping up, but I toughed it out to finish up three miles. Which took me around 45 min, plus warm up and cool down, I was coming up on an hour. I'm just happy there wasn't anyone waiting which would have activated the 30 minute max rule for the cardio equipment.

But a sloggy run is still a run. I'm hoping this is the start of an uptick in my physical ability. So far, other than being unreasonably achey and sore, I'm doing ok.

Fingers crossed!

Monday, October 10, 2016

Harder than I remember

I took the plunge (ha ha ha) and showed up for lap swim at the Y today. I had a fancy new suit and anti-fog treated goggles. I figured I'd do slow laps for about half an hour or so.

If you ever wanted to know what scares me, it's this.

Yeeeah. I did 10 laps. Ten.

Every couple of laps I had to rest for a second to catch my breath. My body just isn't used to not being able to breathe continuously. I had to drop from a breath every four strokes to every two just to finish out the ten laps.

I'm trying to be proud of myself for doing it, and to remember that everyone starts somewhere, and this is where I'm starting.

My plan is to add in a lap or two each time. Hopefully that will keep me from overdoing it.

I'm also gearing up to start a stretched out version of the half marathon training plan in Train Like  Mother. I'm targeting the same spring half marathon I've done twice already, but it's just a nebulous target. I'm not gonna sweat it if it's not in the cards.

Sunday, October 9, 2016

Maybe swimming?

I'm trying to dig myself out of this hole. I'm trying to find my hope again and get myself moving. I tried starting with walking the dog every day, but that left my legs cramped up by the end of the day and almost useless the next day.

I'm going to try swimming next. I ordered a plus size swimsuit that's suitable for swimming laps, and I'm going to go to the Y tomorrow. I'm hoping that swimming will be less stressful on my muscles or at least result in less next day awfulness.

I really want to get back to running. I hate that I'm missing the prime fall running time, with the awesome temperatures and gorgeous leaves. I'm going to try to go for a run at least once this week. Hopefully it doesn't side line me for the next few days like it did last time.

I'm sorry for how awful I sound, I'm trying to keep the hope up, it's just been an incredibly frustrating few weeks.

Thursday, October 6, 2016

The Fibro Effect

I'm finally starting to come out of the crazy bad Fibro episode I've been having. I'm not calling it a "flare" because it really was a lot of small flares and badness caused by me stepping off my medication.

During this "episode," I very nearly gave up. It was impossible to exercise, even getting through my bare minimum each day was sometimes more than I could do. I was requiring naps, two hours of each day lost to the fog.

I was hungry, and forgetful. I'm not sure exactly how bad I was eating, but I know it wasn't good.

Add in a family vacation, and boom. I've gained back the weight I managed to loose during the tons of fun challenge.

It feels impossible. I can run two miles one day, but barely walk up and down my stairs the next (sore muscles aside.) I recover so excruciatingly slowly. I did a Ju-Jitsu class with my daughter, which didn't feel all that taxing, and was flattened with sore achey muscles for almost a week.

I keep trying, and I keep failing. I do what I can when I can, and it's not enough.

I'm so tired of being out of shape, of not being comfortable in my body or my clothes.

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Adjusted Expectations

I had another medication step down induced flair Monday into Tuesday. It was frustrating after having a good week where I got a decent amount of exercise.

The reason for the mediation step down is a good one, The Hubs and I are planning on trying for a second kid. In order to do that, I have to be off my medication, since I cannot take any of the medications approved for Fibro while pregnant or nursing.

I know that I'm doing this for a purpose, but spending days where the best I can do is the baseline to keep the family functioning....it's incredibly frustrating. I had big plans for a modified training plan, but I can't even start that until after I finish stepping off the medication. Hopefully the flairs will settle down once my body adjusts to not having the medication.

I have an appointment for acupuncture today. I have high hopes for it helping to ease my symptoms. My doctor seemed to be really positive about it anyway.

Last week was a great week. I got runs in Monday and Tuesday, then rested Wednesday, did a late run Thursday and got "sprints" in Friday with the Midget, and at least got a walk in on Saturday (took the dog for a quick mile walk.)

The late run on Thursday was the first time I've run around my neighborhood in a while, and it happened around sunset, so it ended up being my first "night" run in a long time. I usually don't run at night, but I stuck to sidewalks and well lit areas, and wore my visibility gear, so I felt relatively safe. I did end up taking a "wrong" turn and adding about a half mile on to my run. I put wrong in quotes because I thought I knew where the road went, so I took a planned route, but the road dumped out in a different spot than I was expecting.

I know this week will be less spectacular than last week, since I've already lost two days, but I'm hoping to get back on track starting today.

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Learning to live with Fibro

Since my diagnosis, it's been rough. The new limitations are frustrating, depressing, and difficult to work around.

I've found myself slowly loosing contact with friends, as my physical state causes missed plans, canceled events, and entire days spent either in bed or on the couch.

For someone who has been as active as I have been, this has been a rough transition.

I tried joining a running group, with a coached 10k plan. I bombed out about halfway through the plan, as missed runs piled up. I have been able to run once, once, in the last three weeks.

It was a three mile run this past Monday. I had to fight my own body for every step.

All of this has been so hard, I've barely been able to talk to my closest friends about it. It just seems so....unreal.

The past few weeks have been particularly challenging, as I have been attempting stepping off my medication to see how well I can tolerate being off of it. The idea was for us to try for another kid this fall, however if I can't tolerate being off my medication (which I cannot take while pregnant,) we'll have to give up on that.

I have managed to keep myself from gaining weight during my period of inactivity, although I'm not sure how. I'm worried that I've lost muscle weight and will start gaining once I start working out again.

We've joined the local YMCA, and I'm planning on a lot of lap swimming in my future. There's also child care available so I'll be able to get treadmill runs in over the winter whenever, and hopefully also take advantage of some of the group classes (hello Yoga and Spinning!)

I'm trying to stay positive, to see this as simply an obstacle to overcome, instead of the insurmountable road block it feels like.

Monday, June 13, 2016

Think you could slow me down?

Even though I rolled my ankle a few weeks ago, I signed up for a training plan again through Fleet Feet. This one is training towards a 10K. I figured it would be less intense than the half marathon plan and would be a good way to ease back into running.

The time trial was on Saturday, two miles, run as hard as you can. Of course it was super hot, and super humid, and since it had been freezing that morning, I was wearing long pants. So I trialed really slow. I'm ok with that. I'm in the 13 min. mile pace group going by my trial, and I figure, I'll start there and see if I can ease my way up to the 12 min/mile group as time goes on.

Today was the first real run of the training plan. Three miles, nice and easy. The weather was perfect, cool, breezy, overcast. I spent the entire run doing constant checks on the state of my ankle. It started feeling a little stiff around halfway through the run, but other than that, it felt great.

Now the key is to keep my ankle supported, and not overwork it as it recovers from the run.

It felt great to be back at it.

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

A screeching halt

Ok, so, a week ago, I was at karate, doing normal karate stuff. I set my left foot down after a kick combination, and was off balance. Then BOOM, my left ankle just rolled. It made a snapping noise and there was a lot of pain. So much they had to help me off the floor.

I iced it for about 15 minutes, but it seemed ok. I could put weight on it, it wasn't swelling up, minimal bruising. I figured I'd gotten lucky. I finished the rest of the class.

By the next morning, the swelling was WAY bad, and the bruising ran the whole way around the ankle. Queue the panic.

I called my doctor, got an x-ray. Nothing's broken, just a really bad sprain. Stay off my feet until it heals. I tried not to laugh at that. I have a pre-schooler!

Anyways, It started to heal up quickly, by the weekend I was walking around relatively well with a brace on. Last night I must have over done it, because by this morning, my ankle is all achey again.

I'm sitting tight as much as possible (my parents are watching the munchkin as I type.) I've got the whole RICE thing going on, and I've got my fingers crossed that I'll be able to do at least upper body work (with the brace on the ankle) by Thursday.

Sitting still is driving me crazy.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Fighting Fibro

Yesterday was a "Bad Fibro" day. I woke up achey and as I call it "locked up," where my muscles feel like they're clenched tight, even though they are not. It's an odd, uncomfortable feeling that makes movement difficult.

I was tired, and felt defeated. Tuesday is one of my Karate days, and I've missed a lot of those lately. I spent most of the morning on the couch, letting my daughter watch way too much television. She had dance class at 1:00 though, so by noon we were up and out of the house. My parents were picking her up from dance class, so I made a decision.

I went to Karate. I threw my Fibro a big middle finger and went.

I refuse. I refuse to let this define me. I refuse to let this take away the things I love. It wasn't an amazing class, I could feel that I had less power in my techniques than normal, but it was a good class. Weirdly my symptoms seemed to ease up during class, and even though the tenseness and aches settled right back in after class, it was easier to deal with them, knowing I'd been to class.

So there. Take that Fibro. I'm fighting back.

Saturday, May 14, 2016

A rocky start

This first week at home has been weird. I know it won't be in any way how a "normal" at home week will go, which is making it hard to settle in to my new life.

First, I had a two and a half day long headache to start the week. It started sometime Sunday evening, intensified at around 4 am on Monday morning, and hung around, tapering off sometime late night Tuesday. It really put a damper on the start of my week.

My parents invited me to come along to a Garden Store on Monday, Read as: They needed my help pushing the cart. (My mother has Multiple Sclerosis and is completely Wheel Chair bound.) What I assumed would be a quick hour trip turned into a three hour errand that stole much of my energy and time.

My Brother and his wife showed up in town this week on short notice, which threw all of my plans for the week out the window. They live in Chicago, so we don't get to see them very often. They showed up Wednesday, so the second half of the week was spent mostly over at my parents, doing things with them.

Fitness wise, I've been "easing" into my new routine by walking the dog instead of running. I ended up hitting 10,000 steps every day this week except friday (when I missed it by 500 steps.) This was helped in large part by the fact that this week was the Lilac Festival, a large outdoor festival in Highland Park. It's a decent walk from our house to the Festival grounds, and we ended up walking there and back Tuesday to go to a concert, and then I did the walk again on Thursday when we went with my Parents, and my Brother and his Wife.

I had my "Week One" weigh in for the Ton of Fun challenge, and although I showed a loss, it was only a loss of about 0.8 lbs. which was disappointing. I know my eating hasn't been on point this week, but I have been tracking everything and have stuck to within a few hundred calories of my goal.

I've got a run planned tomorrow with my (much faster than me) running buddy, and next week should be a more "typical" week, so I'm hoping to show more of a loss on the scale for week two.

Moving Forward.

Saturday, May 7, 2016

Tons of Fun

First, I'd like to thank everyone for the encouraging comments. I was shocked and humbled that there were people who even still would see my posts, and it meant a lot to me to hear from you guys. I'm sorry I've been awful about replying to comments, I've been just trying to get through my last week at work.

I made another commitment this week, and signed myself up for the "Ton of Fun" program through my local Fleet Feet store. It will give me an additional level of accountability (weekly weigh ins), motivation (tons of goal based prizes), and another huge (and local) support system.

I'm determined this time. My health is being directly impacted by my weight. With the Fibro, the more weight I'm carrying, the harder it is for my body to deal with the affects of the disease. Movement, diet, exercise, they're all recommended for dealing with the muscle aches and fatigue.

I know that this time will be way harder than the last two times I lost weight. I have my own body working against me this time, not just my mind. I'm going to need all the support I can get.

Monday, May 2, 2016

Begin again.

Not long after posting my last post, I had a serious discussion with the Hubs, and made a decision to put in my two weeks. With my new limitations, working outside the home while raising a child was just too taxing on my body.

This means I will be able to focus on getting myself healthy. Not just by giving me more time to exercise, but also to prepare and cook healthier meals.

This past weekend, I managed to get myself out for my run with my running buddy. She's doing the C25k program, since she just started running. She is way taller than me, with a stride almost double mine, so she runs much faster than me. This is making for a good fit, since it's basically like doing intervals for me.

The run went well, we ran the running portions much faster than I'm used to, but I didn't feel like I was pushing myself too hard.

I'm looking forward to getting back into a regular fitness routine. My plan is to run in the mornings while my daughter is at pre-school, three days a week, and to do my karate class twice a week on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I may give up one of the runs during the week, moving it to Sunday to keep my run with my running buddy consistent.

Hopefully this routine won't be too much on my body, and will help alleviate at least a few of the symptoms I've been having.

Friday, April 22, 2016

The lost year

That's what I'm going to call it. "The Lost Year." This past year (and change) was more than a doozy, it was everything you don't want a year to be. There were some bright points, usually associated with my daughter, but there were so very many dark moments.

Let's do a brief recap shall we?

  • Shortly after the half marathon last year my running ground to a halt (or rather a slow trickle) as I battled weird fatigue and more random body issues.
  • I quit my job and got a new one, which was supposed to help me free up time and money since it was only three days a week (more about that later.)
  • Within a four week span the following happened:
    • My uncle died.
    • My Husband's Grandmother (whom I was very close to) died.
    • My SIL was diagnosed with Cancer.
  • One of my mentors, the Sensei at the first Dojo I attended, died unexpectedly in January.
  • About a month into my new job, my fatigue and muscle soreness intensified mysteriously, leading me on a many month journey through multiple doctors and tests that cost a great deal of money culminating in:
  • About a month ago I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. 

So yeah. On top of all of that, the shiny new job that was supposed to allow me the freedom to not only be at home with my daughter more often, but also to actually find the time to exercise and eat out? Yeah, kinda sucks.  So I'm on the job hunt again, and finally, it seems, finding my way out of "The Lost Year."

I'm back at Karate, although at a new Dojo. I'm running again, and have even found a running buddy to keep me going. My daughter is now old enough to be taking random sports classes, and is keeping me busy between her dance class and her karate class. Nothing quite like having your almost-four-year old showing you how it's done on the Judo mat!

Ok so I typed this up a week ago, and forgot to hit publish. So I'm going to hit that now, and see about getting back into this blog again. I miss having this outlet!