And then I missed a monday Yoga.
And then the instructor went on Vacation, so the class was canceled for a while.
And then we went on Vacation.
And now it's been three weeks since I worked out. And even with my loose following of the WW plan (I went off diet while on Vacation for a week, and have been struggling to get back on track.) I have stopped loosing weight entirely, and even put some back on.
I've been struggling this past week, wanting so badly to get myself back on track, but lacking the energy or motivation to actually exercise. I've been doing alright diet wise, but I know from experience that wont be enough.
Luckily for me Monday night Yoga is starting back up this Monday. That'll help, it'll at least give me one day a week where I'm working out.
I'm planning on starting the 100 push up and 200 sit up challenges as well. I think it'll give me something that I can do quickly while my daughter naps or plays quietly, without needing to get ready to go do or changing into different clothes for.
I've got the Apps on my phone to track my progress with the challenges, and I'm going to try to do updates on my progress here on this blog. I'm really hoping, after so many stops and starts, that this will be something that helps get me moving in a positive direction again.
This past Sunday my brother finished an IronMan race. Seeing him cross that finish was not only a huge proud moment for me (that's my little brother!) but also it highlighted just how far I've fallen from the girl I was in high school who spent every day (except sundays) at the Dojo. The girl who did six or seven classes a week, one every day but sunday, and two on either fridays (when there was a sparring class after regular class) or saturdays (later when they added weapons classes after regular class.)
I know I don't have the time or energy to drop myself into that kind of schedule again. I know that my daughter take priority to me, and my schedule does not work with going to hour long classes that start at 6 every day anymore. But I want to get back towards that. To the point where going to the dojo, or doing a workout every day is the norm, not the exception.
I'm feeling this odd mixture of frustration, depression, and determination. It's like I swing back and forth between "I need to do this" and "I can't do this". I've never been here before, feeling like I need to do something, but having so many other things that have to take priority.
Hopefully, I'll feel better after a week of taking small steps. Hopefully, the return to Yoga and the small challenges will be enough to shake the darkness off for a while and propel me forward.