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Monday, October 21, 2013

Fall down 7 times, get up 8

Well I fell "off the wagon" big time this weekend. I ran out of Juice on Thursday. Friday, Saturday and Sunday were a food free for all. I tried to eat well, and made healthier choices ( omlette for breakfast instead of eggs benedict, saying no to a second helping of crepes...) but I did not track, and I did not have juice for breakfast.

Saturday I was supposed to get up early (for me) and go to a free trial workout at 7am for a biggest looser challenge I want to do. Even though I went to bed (relatively) early (for me) I just could not drag myself out of bed at 6 Saturday morning.

After a tasty breakfast of homemade crepes with Strawberry Jam (and no Juice), I was feeling very....well for lack of a better term.... Blerchy. So I made a deal with myself. As soon as my daughter went down for her nap, I would go for a run.  It didn't have to be a long run, or a fast run, but I needed to get myself out there, and get some exercise.

I was kind of excited for the run, since I was planning on wearing headphones for the first time while running the canal path. The only other time I'd run while wearing headphones I had found that I ran further, faster and with less angst.

I could not however find the arm band required for carrying my phone with me. There was a moment, a dark tiny moment, where that was almost enough to derail my running plan. I decided, instead, to run without tech. For the first time in a very long time, I would go out and run without something tracking my every step.

I was planning on running on the Canal path, which I know very well, and where I know the approximate distances to various landmarks. This was enough to keep my anxiety about not knowing exactly how fast or how far from overwhelming my desire to run.

So I went. Without tech, without music, without knowing how far or how fast. And it was a great run. The path was practically empty. There was a light breeze blowing across the path and it was cool and partly sunny. The breeze was nice, and since it was blowing across the path, I wasn't fighting the wind on either the out or back. I really wasn't thinking about speed or distance, I just kinda ran.

Oh yeah, it felt the familiar awful on and off for most of the run. There was the ongoing argument in my head between the part of me ( the Blerch ) that wanted me to stop, and the part of me that refused to. I ran out to the first Lock from where I started running, took a walk break and ran back. Based on what I remembered about the distances I figured I'd run about 2.5 miles, give or take.

I was wrong. When I got home and entered my run into mapmyrun, I saw a number that I really wasn't expecting. 3.27 miles. Without meaning to, without planning on it, I had run further than a 5k. This was an epiphany moment for me. This was a moment where I realized that I can do this, that somehow, without me noticing, it got easier. I ran a 5k, my goal distance that I had trained to meet all last winter, without it feeling like a huge distance.

This morning, I'm back to the Juice. It feels healthier to be drinking it. It's almost 11 now, and I feel only minimally hungry. I still have a bit of juice left in my cup.

Tonight is a Yoga night. I'm going to need it, I did not do enough stretching after my run (and totally forgot to do any foam rolling), so my legs are tight and a little achey. I'm really looking forward to some time on the Mat and getting some of these kinks out.

But it was worth it, oh yes it was. If only to realize that I can do it.

I can run, and I can't stop me.

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