Last night was a workout fail.

So my plan to run last night was a fail. After getting home, I changed into running gear, started defrosting the fish for dinner, started the dishwasher, and played with my daughter. She refused to go down for a nap, so no treadmill run. It was too cold and nasty out to drag her out in the Jogging stroller.

"That's fine." I thought, "I will run on the treadmill after she goes to bed."

Except I didn't. After dinner and play time and bed time, I was exhausted. So I vegged. I sat on the couch and watched TV for two hours and then went to bed.

Inexcusable, really. There was time there, at the end of the day. I just couldn't make myself get up and go run.

I did spend a good half hour dancing around in the living room carrying my toddler. It was definitely sweat inducing, but I wouldn't call it a workout.

I've been keepin' on with the juice in the morning and sticking to my WW points, so that's a plus this week. It will be interesting to see what my weigh in looks like this week.

Speaking of weigh ins, I was invited to join a "Biggest Looser" style "competition" recently. The first weigh in is this Saturday. I'm hoping that being involved in something like this will be the kick in the butt I need to make sure I get my workouts done.

Mentally this week has been rough. I feel completely frustrated with myself right now. I keep "re-comitting" to workouts, and missing them. Yes, I'm keeping (some) control over my diet, and I am exercising occasionally, but it's not where it should be. Life keeps getting in the way. I feel like it's impossible for me to save the time and energy I need to workout. The only time I seem to be able to carve out for workouts is at the very end of my day, when I'm out of energy, it's dark out, and all I want to do is just fall into bed. Any time I carve out for workouts leaves something else that I should have finished, undone. I feel guilty for giving up the time with my daughter, for not making dinner, for not being home to clean or do dishes or laundry, or even just to watch the kid while my husband does some of that.

I feel awesome after a run, but then, as soon as all the stuff I wasn't doing smacks me in the face when I get home, that feeling disappears, and I'm more stressed than ever. I need to find a better flow in my life.

I'm going to try to run tonight, try to make myself run. I think I really need it tonight.