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Wednesday, September 7, 2011

5 Days Till AF

So, I'm well into my first TWW. I know I haven't been posting, but mostly that's because if I think about it too much I got a little bit crazy. According the my iphone app, which has been close to dead on accurate in the past, I have 5 days left before AF. Waiting is killing me. More than anything I want to test early, especially now that I'm within the supposed range of some of the HPT's. I've been pep talking myself into waiting until Sunday, which would be one day BAF.

I picked up an HPT today while I was at the store. I picked it up today for a couple reasons, one being impatience, but the other, main, one was that it was the only chance I was gonna get to pick one up without DH there. I really didn't want to make him be there when I bought that.

I'm starting to think I'm gonna get a BFN this time though. A couple days ago I had some cramping, and today and yesterday I've had some light spotting. I know you can get cramping and spotting with implantation, but it's so far after O, and so close to AF, I think it's just regular PMS.

But on the other (more hopeful) side of things, there was yesterday. I went running yesterday and my stomach felt strangely full, bloated almost, but it didn't feel like a normal bloated. (yeah yeah TMI I know.) Sometimes I think I feel pregnant, but I know that's just me wanting it bad enough to see every little symptom as a positive sign.

I'm trying to prepare myself for that BFN. Trying not to hope too much for a BFP. I just really want to know either way though. The wait is agonizing.

I've cut my caffeine intake down to  one 8 oz cup of coffee a day. That last step was hard, and I'm still a bit grouchy and tired from it. It's hard maintaining the preparations right now, waiting, thinking i'm going to get a BFN.

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