I ran yesterday! Yay! I'm not going to lie, the past few weeks have been a struggle. Between my own illnesses, my daughter being sick twice, and just general life craziness, I was down and almost out. It was a very near thing. Not only was life knocking me around (and interfering severely with my running schedule,) but my running mojo was just...gone. I had no desire to push it. The times I did get my butt on the treadmill, I felt awful, slow, tired, happy only once I was done (and even then a few times not so much.) I seriously considered that maybe I would not be able to complete the half marathon training (let alone push to train for the eventual full.)
There were some low points in there.
This week, I was (and still am) determined to pull it out. Despite the fact that I still have a lingering cough. Despite the fact that my daughter is sick again. Despite the fact that it's still too cold and snowy to run outside (I have no Yaktraks. I need to fix that.)
I stepped on the treadmill yesterday with the mindset that I was just going to run. Just let it ride and try to finish out the four miles. I had kind of a time crunch going on (it was 6:30 when I stepped on the treadmill and the In-laws were waiting on me for dinner,) and try as I might I couldn't push that out of my head, so I kept pushing my pace. I ran a lot of the run at what my treadmill calls a 3.8, and some of it at 4.0 (spoiler alert my treadmill is horribly mis-calibrated.) I'm starting to think I need to recalibrate the nike+ app again, since my splits don't really show that I was running faster than my normal 3.5 on the treadmill.
This run felt hard. But I was expecting it, since I haven't been running consistently for a while. The surprising part was that there were parts of the run that felt good. Even when I was pushing my pace and really running hard, there were long periods of time where I felt like I could just run. Yeah, there were a lot of points where it became a total head game to keep myself running (like when I checked my phone and saw I had only run 2 miles,) but really, most of the run was good, even as I pushed my pace up to finish strong.
I really needed a strong run to get me back in the game. Especially since a friend just convinced me to sign up for a color vibe run in April. I figure it'll be a nice fun run to add into my half marathon taper.
For the first time in too long, I feel like I can do this.