This sunday was the first time I did not complete the entire run I had on the schedule. I can point to the reasons why I was not at my best going into this run, but in my head they all sound like excuses. I had only gotten five(ish) hours of sleep the night before, and while I usually run my long runs in the afternoon, Sunday was going to be a very busy day for us (a first birthday part and a super bowl party on the same day,) so the run had to be done in the morning.
After dragging myself out of bed and downstairs, I made waffles for breakfast for the three of us, ate a waffle, played with my daughter a bit, and then when she went down for a nap, suited up and set myself up on the treadmill.
Almost from the start I was struggling. It wasn't any one thing in particular, I just felt like lead. I tried really hard to just run, and not pay attention to the clock or how far I had to go, but around mile 2, I kept feeling like I had already run forever, and should be way farther than I was.
I pushed myself to finish out six miles, and then let myself have a walk break. It was all I could do to convince myself to start running again and finish out the next mile, but that was it. I called it at 7.
I had a nine mile run on the schedule, but there was no way I could finish it out. So 7 miles it was. I feel odd that I'm disappointed with a 7 mile run. Not that long ago I was extremely proud of myself for finishing five miles. I keep trying to remind myself of that, of how far I've come in such a short period of time. Looking at the splits, I know it was a decent run. I kept a respectable pace over the course of the run. I finished out the seventh mile, even though I wanted to quit way back at mile three, and pushed through that last mile even though I had already checked out on the run at mile 6.
I still feel disappointed in myself for cutting the run short. I know that about 85% of that run was mental, and I just didn't have it. I'm a little worried at the continued trend of rough runs. I'm hoping that the next few feel less tough.
This week is going to be another challenging week. Case in point, I started writing this post on Monday, and I'm just finishing it up today. I'm going to be cramming my runs in around a very busy work schedule, watching the lectures for the class I'm taking, and actually going out and having a life. I'm hoping it'll work out, but we'll see.